Positive Student Relationships: How to Connect with Every Student From Day One & Why it Matters

Positive student relationships are crucial to build for academic success and personal growth for your students, and for yourself. Creating a supportive environment in the classroom not only enhances learning outcomes but also promotes emotional well-being and social connection. When students feel supported, they are more engaged, motivated, and willing to take risks in our classrooms. This is what teachers want, right?  As English Language Arts teachers, it is our responsibility to create an atmosphere where students feel safe, valued, and understood. By fostering positive relationships, we can build an environment that encourages collaboration, empathy, and respect among students.

ELA Teachers Have a Built-In Advantage to Building Positive Relationships With Students

ELA teachers have a unique advantage in building positive relationships with our students, as we often have students complete more personal reading & writing tasks that can lead to great discussions. I truly believe that the success of a teacher is built upon solid student relationships. With solid relationships with your students, everything else will be easier. That doesn’t mean that every interaction will be perfect, or that you will be loved and admired  by all of your students. What it does mean is that each interaction with a student holds an opportunity to connect not only to the content, but also as people. So how exactly do we build relationships with our middle and high school students in our language arts classrooms?

The Importance of Creating a Supportive Environment for Students

A supportive environment is the foundation for a positive and successful learning experience. When students feel safe and supported, they are more likely to engage in the learning process, take risks, and explore new ideas. This supportive atmosphere also promotes emotional well-being and mental health, as students feel valued and understood.

One key aspect of creating a supportive environment is building positive relationships with students. Might look like simple gestures such as greeting students at the door, learning how to correctly pronounce their names, and showing genuine interest in their lives. I make a point to greet each student at the door as often as I can. I always wonder, “What if I am the only positive encounter they have with an adult today?” That’s a big deal! So a simple door greeting can go a long way. For my own practice, this is a non-negotiable. On the topic of pronouncing names correctly, students might tell you that it doesn’t matter- but it absolutely does. I’ll be honest- being a white female at a school of students from all over the world, I struggled with names a lot. It was uncomfortable. I made mistakes in front of the class.  But I made sure that students knew my stance- your name is your very first and most important gift. I will address you how you wish, and will practice until I get it right. 

Another important factor in creating a supportive environment is promoting inclusivity. Every student should feel welcome and accepted in the classroom, regardless of their background, abilities, or beliefs. By embracing diversity and incorporating inclusive practices, we can create a space where all students feel valued and respected. This can be done through the use of diverse learning materials, culturally responsive teaching strategies, and promoting open discussions about different perspectives. When students see that you are making an effort to include diverse authors and perspectives, they see that you value those that are outside of yourself.

Effective Communication For Positive Interactions

Effective communication is key to building positive relationships with students and creating a supportive environment. Clear and open communication allows for understanding, trust, and collaboration. Providing clear instructions and expectations. Have them written, and on the wall when appropriate for student reference. Students should have a clear understanding of what is expected of them and how they can succeed. Think about it from the student perspective- if you don’t understand something and your teacher is raising their voice or sounding annoyed, you’re probably going to shut down. On that note, try not to raise your voice 😅 . Active listening is another important aspect of effective communication. Listening attentively to students’ thoughts, ideas, and concerns shows them that their voices are heard and valued. Repeat what they say in class discussions, ask clarifying questions, and if they get an answer wrong- thank them for contributing.

Promoting Empathy and Understanding

Empathy is a powerful tool for building positive relationships and creating a supportive environment. When students feel understood and valued, they are more likely to develop empathy towards others. Use texts with diverse perspectives that promote understanding different viewpoints, and practicing kindness. Model what an uncomfortable conversation might look like or what to say when they disagree with another student. This is always a conversation I have with students at the beginning of the year. I display sentence frames like “I respectfully disagree with you because…” or “I understand your thinking but I don’t think you have considered…” to mitigate any misunderstandings and to provide support for academic discussions. 

Teaching empathy also involves modeling empathetic behavior as educators. Showing empathy towards students’ struggles, challenges, and emotions can help create a safe and supportive space for them to express themselves. Start by giving students the benefit of the doubt. Always. This will usually work in your favor and support a positive student-teacher relationship. If a student has a track record for lying or negative behavior, that is a different story.

Addressing Challenging Behaviors in a Supportive Manner

In any classroom, there may be instances of challenging behaviors that disrupt the supportive environment. It is important to address these behaviors and figure out why they are happening. That can be easier said than done, but students will see your effort and empathy. 

Taking a proactive approach, by setting clear expectations and teaching appropriate behavior, can prevent challenging behaviors from occurring. Using restorative practices, such as having a dialogue and finding solutions together, can help students learn from their mistakes and repair any harm caused. If things get heated, remind yourself that it’s the behavior you want to fix. Your job is to give all students a safe learning environment. If students aren’t contributing, a simple private chat in the hallway can go a long way. My conversations in the hallway usually start off “Hey, I noticed _____ was happening instead of our assignment. What’s up?” This prompts students to give an explanation to start the conversation, versus a dead-end “yes” or “no”. 

From day 1 I remind students that I am not there to control them, and I cannot make them do anything. Middle and high schoolers LOVE hearing that! Then I remind them that all actions have consequences, and that I want to see each and every one of them succeed, and I will support them however I can.

The Lasting Impact of a Supportive Environment on Student Success

Building positive relationships with students from day 1 goes a long way. Teenagers want to be heard and feel valued (just like anyone). Showing them that they matter, offering empathy, and being clear about expectations and enforcing them is a really great place to start. As the school year goes on, building those positive student relationships will happen naturally through events and assignments.

Final Thoughts on Positive Teacher-Student Relationships

You don’t have to know all about a student or even like the same things that they do to be able to connect and have a good school year with them. And if you find yourself struggling with confidence in the classroom, find out what I have to say about that here. So walk into day 1 reminding yourself of these things. And if things have gone differently than you would have liked at any point in the year, come back to these basics to start fresh. There’s no shame in that.

If you found yourself feeling like you needed support from anything in this post, here are some great resources to make building positive student relationships even easier: 

• Done for you Rules  & Expectations activity for effective communication & to mitigate challenging behaviors
• Individual Choice Reading assignment for students to explore a book they are curious about and discuss with you in a casual, low-stakes way

I’m Glad You’re Here,

Kameo